the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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He felt like a one man threesome
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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