just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize