which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
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He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He shit in the fireplace
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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