Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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