you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
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so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
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He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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