her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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