my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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