this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are not precious.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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