dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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