Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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