I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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