You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
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He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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