just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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