I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I came so hard my ears popped.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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