A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize