Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize