I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize