have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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