I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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