Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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