So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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