All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
that may or may not have been my penis.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize