funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize