oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize