HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
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Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize