Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
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fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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