I haven't been this sober since birth.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize