I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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