i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize