i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
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And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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