Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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