they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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