i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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