am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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