Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize