It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
my poor anus
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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