Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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