i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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