the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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