Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
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DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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