I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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