dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
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I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize