I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize