We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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