So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
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I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize