i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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