we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize