no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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