I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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