Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My feet surprised me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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