It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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